...except for me and my monkey! "Everything we see hides another thing. We always want to see what is hidden by what we see." -Rene Magritte

Friday, December 10, 2004

Jessica sings of cheese and Nico in times of stress

Five of my favorite things right now:

1. Those little cheese rounds that come wrapped in red wax. I love those things, and yesterday I treated myself to a mesh bag of them, which I'm now joyfully working my way through. My elementary-school best friend Ashley always had one with her lunch, and I was so jealous. I was jealous of Ashley a lot, actually. She also had two American Girl dolls! One day I begged and begged my mom to buy me the wax-covered cheese, which were only available at the Friendly Street Market in Eugene, so she had to make a special trip. Then I found out that I didn't actually like the cheese; I just wanted to play with the wax. I feel guilty about that now. Sorry, Mom! I do love the cheese now.

2. The Velvet Underground. I don't have any of their music, but throught the wonders of iTunes music sharing I can access other people's music libraries and I've come to love the album "The Velvet Underground with Nico" or whatever. It's funny: sometimes I develop these ideas about things I should like, things I really want to like, based on some image I have of myself or my identity. For instance, I really, really felt as though I should like Ken Kesey, since I'm from Eugene. Then I tried to read Sometimes a Great Notion, and...no. I got about 50 pages in and gave up. I'm going to try to read One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest over winter break, so we'll see how that goes. But anyways, I really wanted to like the Velvet Underground because they were instrumental in Czech history--the Velvet Revolution is so called because Václav Havel really loved them, I've heard--and I was kind of afraid that I'd hate them. But I don't, so..hurray.

3. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. It's such a good book. I read it for the first time over the summer, and then I just finished it for the second time this afternoon. It's pretty heartbreaking, especially if I apply it to my own life, because on the surface I kind of think the protagonist and I have a lot in common, and I identify with a lot of what she says. It's like...where do we diverge? What's the one factor that leads her to a downward spiral into insanity, while I continue living my life normally...you know? Is it because I have hope and plans for the future? Because women have more opportunities in 2004 than they did in 1954? Maybe. Maybe the most heartbreaking thing about the novel is that within it, her madness seems almost normal; her insanity seems inevitable.

4. Unexpected compliments. The other day I was trying on what I was planning on wearing to this semi-fancy thing at the Art Museum that I went to yesterday, so I was checking myself out in the full-length hall mirror. This friendly acquaintence down the hall was like, "You look great!" It meant a lot to me, because he normally does not seem particularly effusive. Great for the ol' self-confidence.

5. My plans for tomorrow. I'm going to the Art Museum and the Portland Classical Chinese Gardens and the Barnes & Noble that's in the Lloyd Center and maybe the Saturday Market. I just have to get through my Religion in Modern America first, but I don't think that'll be any real problem.

I hope all of you have a fantastic weekend--and to those of you at LC, stop reading this and go back to studying!!