...except for me and my monkey! "Everything we see hides another thing. We always want to see what is hidden by what we see." -Rene Magritte

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Boys have cooties!

The local Barnes & Noble really, really needs to install computers customers can use to look up books themselves. Because, here's the thing: I really, really did not want to ask a store employee to help me find the book To the Last Man I Slept With and All the Jerks Just Like Him.

I tried to find the book (the first by Gwendolyn Zepeda, one of my favorite bloggers and a former Television Without Pity recapper) by myself. I looked on the New Fiction tables. I looked in the Literature & Fiction section. I looked in the Women's Studies section. I looked in the Cultural Studies section. Nothing. I realized I had to ask an employee, but I needed to carefully plan my approach. See, a lot of the employees know me by name, and they know my father and family. I spent a good twenty minutes milling around the Customer Service center, waiting for juuuuuuust the right employee. I couldn't ask a man of any age, especially the cute dark-haired guy who looks like Raj Bhakta from The Apprentice. I couldn't ask an older woman, particularly the one who always asks me about school and talks with me about Kundera and philosophy and travel. I decided my best bet was a young, hippish, college or graduate school-aged woman, preferably recently-hired so that she wouldn't recognize me. Problem was, such employees were rare 'round the Service desk, necessitating the secret agent hiding-out-behind-the-calendar-display-with-coffee-gripped-tightly exercises.

All that work, and they didn't even have the book in stock! But, seriously, if you were in my position, would you want to ask for that book? Actually, you're probably not quite so much of a fourth-grader as I am, and you might be laughing at me right now. In which case...carry on, I suppose.