...except for me and my monkey! "Everything we see hides another thing. We always want to see what is hidden by what we see." -Rene Magritte

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Am I the nerdiest drunk ever?

People always say that whatever your personality normally is, it's even more so when you're drunk. So I guess it makes since that sense I'm already a huge geek, when I drink, I get become the geekiest geek who ever geeked. Here's just a partial list of the subjects upon which I've felt qualified to expound while drunk, often quite loudly and with little or no provocation:

1. The interplay between happiness and obligation in the short stories and screenplays of contemporary Russian author Viktoria Tokareva;

2. Installation art as a movement, and particularly the wrapping of the Pont Neuf bridge and other works ("works") by Christo and Jeanne-Claude;

3. What the post-exilic Hebrew prophets of the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible would have to say about the results of the 2004 presidential election;

4. The role of magic in the development of Mormon cosmology (I have to pat myself on the back for getting through the entire title of the book The Refiner's Fire: The Making of the Mormon Cosmology, 1644-1844 when I was talking about this. That's a long title, even for a sober person!)

5. The characteristics of the prophetic individual and the social conditions that give rise to prophesy, as described by religious studies theorist and scholar Max Weber, and whether Joseph Smith can be understood in those terms;

6. The prospect of Mars exploration, and whether it is or could ever be an ethical choice;

7. Premillenial and postmillenial apocalyptic Christian thought, and how those categories relate to Mars and current goings on in the US;

8. The traditional Canadian practice of clubbing baby seals to death (STOP THE SLAUGHTER!)

9. Excommunication from the LDS (Mormon) church, both for those on the far right (modern-day Mormon fundamentalists who practice polygamy) and on the moderate-to-far left (scholars like D. Michael Quinn who explore Drunken Dissertation #4, as well as feminist Mormon scholars who argue for the acceptance of women to the clergy, based on the Heavenly Mother/Heavenly Father dichotomy);

10. The Czech national character.

Each of those topics doesn't represent an individual drunken experience; all in all, I can count the number of times I've been drunk on two hands (and I barely need the second hand). Last night, for instance, I was all over the place: I covered numbers 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9, although Mars and the baby seals have been recurring themes of conversation over the past year. The nerdiness is just so concentrated, y'all.