...except for me and my monkey! "Everything we see hides another thing. We always want to see what is hidden by what we see." -Rene Magritte

Sunday, June 05, 2005

I couldn't make this up if I tried

So, the other day I was at the local Goodwill searching for old Baby-Sitters Club books and other cheap paperbacks. After exhausting the shelves of legitimate books I turned to the three-for-a-buck bargain tables, which normally hold only old diet books, Suzanne Somers exercise guides, and trashy romances. As I skimmed over financial planning guides from the 1980s, a book caught my eye. The Godwhale it proclaimed in blue psychadelic 1970s lettering across the lime-green spine. I read the back of the book, and I laughed, then set it back down and prepared to leave. Then, out of curiousity, I turned the book over to see the cover, and started to hyperventilate. I needed this book!

Friends, I present to you the back-cover summary of The Godwhale, written in 1974 by T. J. Bass, a pseudonym if I ever heard one. I think it goes without saying that this is [sic] throughout:

WONDER WHALE [Also in blue psychadelic letters. All of this is on the same sick lime-green background]

Rorqual Maru was a cyborg--part organic whale, part mechanized ship...and part god. She was a harvester--a vast plankton rake, now without a crop--abandoned by Earth Society when the seas died.

So she selected an island for her grave hoping to keep her carcass visible for possible salvage. Although her long ear heard nothing, she believed that Man still lived in his Hive.
[I swear to God I'm not making this up. No shit, his Hive!] If he should ever return to the sea she wanted to serve. She longed for the thrill of Man's bare feet touching the skin of her deck. She missed the hearty hails, the sweat and the laughter.

She needed Man!

The critically acclaimed sequel to Half Past Human.

Is that awesome, or what? But it just gets better. The cover....oh, the cover. I kind of want to rip the cover off, take it to Kinkos, get it blown up, and make it a poster for my room. The best part is where it says that the books is An engrossing tale of a mechanical harvester without a crop and a man without a body--in a world without a future!

I'm not actually going to read The Godwhale, but for thirty-three cents, could you pass it up? After all, how many times have you guys heard me say it: if there's one thing I love, it's dystopic worlds-of-the-future where robotic whale-gods roam the seas and people live in underwater pods. Now that's the frontier science for me!