...except for me and my monkey! "Everything we see hides another thing. We always want to see what is hidden by what we see." -Rene Magritte

Monday, September 18, 2006

Times New Roman is for pussies

I prefer to type my papers in Baskerville, the classiest of the serifed fonts. Times New Roman served me throughout high school, but looking back on it, it truly is a high school font, sophomoric, bold, squat, plain. There's something about it that makes good ideas look a little worse, a little too functional, a little too obvious. Baskerville, on the other hand, lends ideas an elegance that translates into eloquence; it makes good ideas look brilliant and bad ideas look respectable.

Times New Roman is the workhorse of the fonts, for sure, and no professor will reject a paper written in TNR; maybe some even request it to dissuade over-eager students from printing their Chaucer paper in Olde English or Sand or, God forbid, Comic Sans. Baskerville looks enough like TNR that it's not distracting to the eye, but it has a taller, thinner, lighter outline, a more graceful finish; it's a font that would call you "Old Sport" while swirling a drink. Baskerville is Gatsby, and Times New Roman is Tom Buchanon. Baskerville is Virginia Woolf, and Time New Roman is Dan Brown. Baskerville is a book, Times New Roman is a blog.

But even Times New Roman is preferable to nearly any other font. Helvetica? Please. I only type in Courier for creative writing pieces when I'm trying to mimic a writer or personality from the type-writer era. And once you type something in Comic Sans, you might as well have just vomited on the paper and handed it directly to your professor.